Two recent examples:
- "UW beat #3 ranked U$C in '09!" Let's be real. That U$C team was pretty bad, and barely finished in the top 25.
- "VT beat 2 ranked teams last year!" You mean GT and UVA, who were unranked in December and lost their bowl games? Stop it.
One of the few blessings of the offseason is that we can look back on complete bodies of work, and make semi-reasonable comparisons. With that in mind, I present a new installment of Tupac vs. Biggie, in which we compare 2011 Pac12 and ACC teams via an imaginary bowl series. (Is there any other type of bowl series? #CFBPlayoffNow)
For this exercise, I matched teams from each conference by their placement in the final standings. For ties, I went by head-to-head performance against similarly ranked teams, or creative license. Complaints regarding this methodology may be directed to that brick wall over there.
Let's take a look at how things might play out... in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe. Doodoo doodoo doodoo doodoo RRRRING RRRRRING. LOL Mister Rogers reference! I'm so edgy.
The #1's: Clemson vs. Oregon
Clemson's defense gave up 70 to West Virginia. Oregon could probably hit triple digits.
Winner: Oregon by... umm... a lot.
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| Hmm, I feel like we've seen this game already... |
The #2's: Virginia Tech vs. Stanford
Common opponent: Duke in Durham. VT won by 4. Stanford won by 30.
Winner: Stanford by 26.
The #3's: Florida State vs. Southern Cal
Common opponent: Notre Dame. FSU won a squeaker in their bowl game. U$C waxed them in South Bend.
Winner: U$C by 14.
The #4's: Georgia Tech vs. Washington
Common opponent: Utah. GT lost in overtime in the Sun Bowl. UW destroyed them in Salt Lake.
Winner: UW gives up 81 points, still wins by 16.
The #5's: Virginia vs. UCLA
UVA LOLZ 38-0 etc. Having said that, UCLA might have been the worst 6-win team in the history of college football.
Winner: UVA by 12.
The #6's: Wake Forest vs. Utah
Wake got blown out by freakin’ Vanderbilt. Utah beat a better ACC team in the Sun Bowl.
Winner: Utah by 9.
Some unrelated video...
The #7's: NC State vs. California
The #7's: NC State vs. California
Probably the best game on this list. Two evenly matched teams who had good and bad weeks. Coin flip says...
Winner: NC State in an overtime "thriller."
The #8's: North Carolina vs. Arizona State
ASU had a great offense, but no defense. UNC's offense and defense would show up to the same stadium together sometimes.
Winner: UNC by 3.
The #9's: Miami vs. Arizona
Arizona sucked. The end.
Winner: Miami by 27.
The #10's: Boston College vs. Oregon State
OSU lost to an FCS school (see above). BC couldn’t score in a whorehouse with a $100 bill hanging out of their zipper.
Winner: BC by 0.028.
(P.S. Fun fact: Sacramento State has a football team.)
(P.P.S. LOL beavers.)
The #11's: Duke vs. Washington State
Wazzu had a top-10 passing offense, but went 4-8. Duke had a top-30 passing offense, but went 3-9, including a loss to an FCS school and 7 straight losses to end the year.
Winner: Wazzu by 10.
(P.S. Both coaches were in their 4th year. Wazzu fired their coach. Duke kept theirs. Just sayin'.)
The #12's: Maryland vs. Colorado
Gross.
Winner: Maryland, I guess.
FINAL SCORE: 6-6 tie! Pac12 sweeps the top 4 games in dominant fashion, while the ACC's bottom-dwellers win most of their matchups.
What we've learned: While the Pac12 is still top-heavy (fake boob joke goes here), ACC teams are more evenly matched from top to bottom. As a result, the ACC will always win their share of Charlotte/Nashville bowl games. But until VT or Clemson get over the hump, or FSU and Miami start cheating again (the right way this time), the top ACC teams will continue to fall short.
D-rock be trolling. Too bad we don't have more of a following. This would be sure to have a million enflamed comments by the end of the day.
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